Thursday, June 24, 2010

On being needed ....

This summer has been strange!! First of all, Ariana left on a trip to the mainland for 5 weeks.So far she has travelled to Washington State, Idaho and Utah. She is now in Washington DC and is going to spend time on a lake in Virginia and in Maryland and Pennyslvania and who knows where else? She is with her grandma (we call her Lola) and her cousins Kyra and Drake.
She is having a great time but I have never been apart from her for this long and she makes me laugh every day. I need her .....

Then last week, Anela's friends family (Krebs) announced they were going on a trip to the mainland (California, Arizona, Utah) and could they pleeeeeeaaaaasssssssseeeee take her with them. They were leaving in two days and would be coming back near the end of July. Anela and I talked about it that night. I told her that she might be sad and miss me and she couldn't ruin their trip. We went to sleep that night in my bed and I was holding her little hand (as I often do at night when we sleep). She woke up the next morning and proclaimed, "I made a decision" Im going on the trip. She got out of bed, packed her little bag and was gone the next day. But she is the one that gives me all my hugs and kisses and tells me I'm the best almost everyday.
I need her .............

My Son, Makana started working full time. Of course, it is a good thing and he has a good job working construction. But he has to be at the job site by 7 am and he comes home at all times. Sometimes because he stops to surf before dark and sometimes because he stops to see his girlfriend. He is soooo tired after work and surf that he comes home and sleeps. So, I feel like I have not seen him forever. I told him last week, that He is the person in this world I have spent the most time with. More than my mother, and siblings. Even more than his father. And because of that I feel an unusual connection to him. Like he was sent to me to be that person and I haven't seen him lately. I need him .....

And so, my summer has been strange. HOW I LOVE THE AGE 15. Why? because you do not have a drivers license yet. Yes! Somebody needs me for something. I am ok with the fact that I may only be needed for my drivers license. I dont even care. I have been spending my days with this girl....

and since they are glued at the hip ..... with this boy too!

We have been going to places like this ..... (Sandy Beach twice this week)and this .... (Scenic Lookout)
When we got back last night around 11ish (from taking jack home) Amber expressed her thanks for always driving them places. I thought about how our days are numbered. We don't know how many more times we get to drive them, or talk to them, or cook for them, or laugh with them, or watch a movie with them .....
So for all those moments I get to spend with the one girl that needs me this one last summer, I am here for you. Next summer, you will have your license and you wont need me anymore. You will be off running around the island sucking the life out of every day. So for now, I will drive where you want me to drive. Because I get to be with you. And Because I have learned something in this life ... you never know how long things last. And I will treasure each moment I am still needed by you.

6 comments:

wil.sarah.chalei said...

I can't believe both babies are gone! I'm glad that you are soaking in every moment you are needed with ber. she will treasure these moments even more later...more than you know...

Lani said...

Oh my goodness, I don't know what I'd do without my kids for that long! I'd be a wreck. But just like you, I'm starting to see the writing on the wall, so I got myself a dog. :)

kelly said...

i am feeling ya big time!!
they are all great experiences for the kids though it's just tough to let them go!

Holly said...

I will always need you:)
love you big time~
Holly

darah. said...

No matter how old the kids get, they'll always need you:-) I know we still do, even though we're getting up there. Mom's just have a knack for knowing everything. I can't believe the kids are all gone and doing their own things!

I definitely needed to read this post though (I also thought I commented awhile ago) because it helps me to remember that Wes is not going to be small for too long and to cherish each moment that we have together. I usually let him do his own thing and I do mine, but your post made me realize that I should hang out with him, even when he's in his own world because I'm going to miss every single stage.

And thanks for reading my posts Aunty Nikki, love you!

kiwikaty said...

wow Nikki, talk about ages and stages. I too am going through this getting ready to send Carrie off to her own life. Already she doesn't really need me. As the mom said in Toy Story 3 to her son leaving for college, "I just want to be with you forever", and luckily we will.

I love your spirit Nikki. A very sweet example.