I’ve been miserable lately. Maybe even for years. Probably 6 years 9 months 17 days and 9hours to be exact. I have tried to be strong. I have tried to think ahead and have an eternal perspective. But sometimes the “text book” answer just doesn’t cut it anymore and all the answers just sound cliche'. All I want is to feel his warm arms around me, and hear his voice tell me everything’s going to be ok. But his arms are cold and his voice is still, and as much as I beg the heavens to whisper to me, I still feel so very alone.
Listen to nikkis music
5 comments:
My Sister.
I thought I heard something in your voice today, When we were talking on the phone, I was at my favorite pond walking around it, kicking a piece of ice down the cold path. I found myself wishing you were there, so we could kick the ice together....or throw it at the pond...but more so, I found myself wishing Jon could be there for you right then and there...holding you during your cold winter. Damn.
I love you girl. you are wise and strong and beautiful. I know it sounds futile to say after so many years of loniless...but I have to believe God has a plan for you and your tears.
I love you. Call me ANYTIME!
i'm so sorry. i think the holidays always bring out that sentimental feeling in us but i know it is everyday that you miss him. we miss him too but i know there is nothing like the love of your eternal companion and the way that you miss them. i can't believe it has been that long already, i forget sometimes i still always say jon died a few years ago but i know nellie was just barely 3!
you do so much and i know it must get weary somedays! he is there he is just so busy!!
we can talk anytime!!
I love you :) I love your family :) This past year, being separated and since I'm planning on filing for divorce before this year is done, I get so annoyed or I shut down when people give me the textbook answer and what to do. None of what I'm going through is as hard as raising your family without Jon. But seeing how happy your kids are and all of their successes everywhere makes me want to be so much more like you! I hope that when I have kids and my family, that they are just like the Mozos :)
I love you Aunty Nikki, and I am in awe of how strong and determined you have been throughout these years. You're in my prayers and I also believe that you have not, nor will be forgotten. Love you!
Nikki, nothing I can say will help. I know that I cannot relate. But when things look dark and hopeless to me, I get a tiny little bit of strength from Dori (Finding Nemo): "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
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