Its late ... I am dehydrated and not just physically.
Im spiritually dehydrated
and an emotional wreck.
And the words to this song came to my mind and its soooo very weird because I haven't heard this song for almost 30 years. My mother must have loved it and played it over and over again on her record player because it is etched into me. Don't analyze the lyrics too much. Its the overall message that was speaking to me tonight.
Tonight I had a conversation with someone who is very important to me. She challenged me to think about the way I am living my life right now. Its unhappy and unauthentic. Thats when this song began speaking to me ... maybe no one else will get its message tonight but me.
And thats ok.
Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....
Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me
Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies....
(it continues on but you probably get the point).
Im am tired
Im tired of living a million lies
of not knowing what it is that I want and being mad at other people for that
I want to be happy
I want to be happy
I will be happy
Because I owe it to myself
and my children
and my future self.
And the way to be happy is to BE TRUE
and you can't be true to yourself if you don't know
So Im going to be doing some digging
Im sure it will be a painful process.
But its necessary.
And Its time.